I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

So that's not the most appropriate title, but it'll due. I've figured out half my problem today - because if you've seen me - you know I'm feeling a little off. The main issue will be discussed about in the main blog, but since this is the *NSFW* blog - I can talk candidly about a portion of it here. When I reminisce about the 'good old days' of my youth (late teens early twenties) and the splendor of having great friends. Another part about those days were that I was in steady relationships with a fairly good sex life attached.

Guess what I'm lacking now? The majority of my friends and a fairly good sex life.

I started thinking about what makes a 'fairly good sex life' (FGSL from here on out). The trust thing is there - you're not really worried about consequences. The awkwardness is gone - you don't mind walking around bare assed or being naked in front of your partner. You know where they like to be kissed. You know just how to touch this or lick that. They know what you like. You know when you can sneak a kiss or better yet - when they're bent over to pick something up - a kiss on the small of the back (it really can send shivers). It's just a comfort level that comes in relationships like that. You know when it's good to be quick, when to take your time, when to go hard, when to "fuck", when to "make love", when to do it in the shower (um, yes please), etc..

You know the boundaries. No speculation about those - those tense and slightly uncomfortable conversations have long since passed. For instance, you may not get sex at a rest stop going down the highway - but you may be able to grab a blanket and head to the back yard for sex under the stars.

You know that she likes to be kissed just so, sort of a nonverbal that lets you know she's interested. You know the words she likes and doesn't like. You know how much talk she likes be it dirty talk or pillow talk (or both). You pick up on subtle hints or get the excitement of hearing "Fuck me now" or "lets head upstairs to the bedroom".... or "could you wash my back....".

You know what you should see when she's naked. The little imperfections, how she stays trimmed/waxed, what kind of panties to expect (if any). The first time or two - you have no ideas if she's broken out the Victoria's Secret for you - or if that's her daily lingerie of choice. As things progress you learn these little things to look for - and once the sex life is in full swing - you should quickly understand when new panties are on - or if the crotchless ones with fishnets are special for you.

When the sex life is there you begin to have a small say in things. You notice that if your favorite color is green on her - she might have a nice set of green satin panties and matching bra - something unique to your tastes. You come up with games to play...code words for sex or sexual activities - pet names if you will. You get a chance to look forward to see that certain look on their face when you slide inside her...the low moans.. and the way her legs can lock around you - and you learn just how to touch her to get her off.

Now, don't get me wrong. The new sex thing is cool - I like to learn these things - but on days like today when I feel my life lacking something - I'd give anything to be going home to someone who's been through the ringer ( good and bad ) with me and knows how to bring me back to her reality.