Stop Asking Stupid Questions

Interesting conversation I had with a friend of mine a short while back. To paraphrase, it went something like this:

"Dude, I'm confused...see, I like it when my wife goes down on me, she's good at it - but I talked to her about her skills and she wouldn't tell me how many men she'd been with".

Well, in my opinion, you shouldn't care - but I'm sidetracking..

"So what's the problem? She does something you like - and practice makes perfect, right?"

"What if, what if she's sucked like 100 dicks?!"

....really? That matters? You're married now, apparently you guys are both disease free - what the hell does it matter if she's sucked off 14 football teams - YOU are the one reaping the benefit of her oral fixation.

It got me thinking about a few things and I've come up a list of things never to ask your wife. It's ok to ask your girlfriend or FB, but after you've tied the knot - time to put these questions away and never think of them again.

1) How many men have you been with?
2) What did you do on your bachelorette party?
3) How many times have you been married?
4) How did you get so good at... (sex, oral, ball licking, rim jobs, etc..)
5) Do I have the biggest dick you've ever had?
6) Am I the best lay you've ever had?
7) Do I do this the best you've ever had it done?
8) Are there any vids/pics of you floating around out there?
9) If I gave you a freebie, which one of my friends would you bang?
10) Ever done this before...? (sex in public, flashing on Bourbon St., hand jobs in the movies...)

My advice is simply enjoy the benefits of all her hard work. She'll enjoy the benefits of yours... assuming you've actually worked at becoming a lover worth talking about. Then again, we won't be asking that question to her will we? No sir, we'll be taking direction so her good head giving self doesn't divorce you :)