It Takes A Recession For This?

....all I can say is - lets hope this trend stays around awhile.


Original URL:http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2008/12/11/bush_back/index.html

Bush is back!

Not in the White House. But thanks to the recession, women are skipping the Brazilian and finally growing a little hair down there.

By Lisa Germinsky

Dec. 11, 2008 |

Recently someone forwarded me an invitation to a cheeky Inauguration Day event called "Shave the Date." As organizer Kristen Chase explains on her Web site, "Show your love for your country, and as you watch our new president take his oath and feel your satin undies against your smooth nether region, you can take pride in knowing you've rid your world of bush once and for all."

Now, you'll be hard-pressed to find anyone more eager than me to offer Junior a hearty farewell to wherever ex-president frat boys go. And the event is, indeed, a lovely act of unity. But I won't be participating in this brilliant call to action. See, it ignores one thing: W. may be leaving the White House, but when it comes to our most private places, bush is back.

"Absolutely," agrees April Barton, stylist extraordinaire and owner of Suite 303, the salon in New York's notorious Chelsea Hotel. "The new rule of thumb is: When you lift your leg, there shouldn't be any hair below the crease. Keep it clean in the back. And in the front, trim the hair right before its natural curl." She likens the look to a more trimmed, 21st-century version of '70s pubes: the tailored bush.

Or, as my friend Jen put it, "My landing strip has turned into more of a Dorito."

It should probably come as no surprise that the biggest economic crisis since the Great Depression would inspire a little fuzz. Conspicuous spending is out, after all. And maintaining a stripper-worthy wax job ain't cheap.

"It's back to shaving in the shower for me," says Catlin, a brand manager for a Los Angeles fashion label.

"It's a fortune to keep a trim bush," bemoans Meredith, a healthcare marketing executive.

But it isn't just hard times driving this trend. After seeing the shaved beav of nearly every pop tart, after years of porn going mainstream, isn't the thrill of the bare vage getting a little stale? If not, you know, creepy?

That was Bill Maher's take, when he lamented on a Sept. 19 episode of "Real Time With Bill Maher," "Bring back a little pubic hair. Not a lot. I'm not talking about reviving that 1973 look that says I'm liberated ... and I'm smuggling a hedgehog. I just want a friendly, fuzzy calling card that tells me I'm not going to get arrested."

These days, even Playboy -- and it's hard to find better experts on the matter -- acknowledges a departure from a near-decade run of absolute clean living. Gary Cole, the Playboy photography director who has observed the region's changing landscape since 1975, says, "It started [in the '80s] with trimming and a landing strip, in part a reflection of the skimpier swimsuits. Then it went further to tiny patches, then to none at all. Now, the pendulum is swinging a little the other way."

And I, for one, am not going to complain.

I first took a lady Schick to my bikini line sometime during the second term of the Reagan administration. The process guaranteed unpleasantries: razor burn and in-grown hairs, not to mention the constant and necessary repetition. But in time, with increased skill, the invention of the gazillion-blade razor and ladies-only shave gel, I gave the task little thought. Until I moved to New York City, of course, where highlights from a New Jersey mall and a "natural" brow were the sartorial equivalents of hate crime. Eventually, seduced by the city's indulgent carelessness, I let Sonya and her thick imported Brazilian wax have their way with me. My lady garden -- once lush -- now lay nearly bare. And for years, that's how it stayed: a tiny patch of hair, not dissimilar to Hitler's mustache.

But in recent months, I've longed for the fuller landscape of yesteryear. While I've become accustomed to some benefits of the Brazilian -- it does clear a nice path for action -- I'm aching for change. The act itself is invasive. I'm feeling a little rebellious. And, hey, money is tight.

It does seem that George Taylor's famous hemline theory -- that the length of women's skirts rise and fall with economic times -- can be applied to bikini lines as well. In 1922, Sears and Roebuck introduced the first women's razors. Electrolysis emerged in the '60s until social and political rebellion gave way to a renewed celebration of "Hair" (whose upcoming Broadway revival is no mere coincidence). Then, in the '80s, power suits and polished, tight skin reigned, just before Black Monday pushed bikini waxing to the bottom of "to do" lists. As the millennium neared, however, dot-coms let the money and the liquor flow, and women bared all like never before. As "Sex and the City" reminded us (and reminded us again), the Brazilian plowed its way across America's heartland, but these days those crops are growing back -- in Technicolor.

Take, for example, Betty Beauty, a pubic hair dye in a range of colors made popular not by young club-goers but by middle-aged Middle American women. Nancy Jarecki, founder of the product, explains, "The boomers are buying our product. They spend hundreds of dollars getting their hair that beautiful auburn color. They want it to match. And they want to cover gray." Seventy-three percent of Betty Beauty total sales are sold to women over age 36. And by the way, 42 percent of their Middle American clientele prefer pink. (The product isn't just for Kansas anymore, however. According to the Superficial, Betty Beauty is also popular with celebrities like Mariska Hargitay and Christine Taylor, Ben Stiller's wife.)

But as a woman, I think there is something powerful in deciding that products and waxers and experts don't need to come between you and your private parts. It's OK to be a woman again -- a real woman, hair and all.

And, as April Barton points out, "'Racing stripes' are not safe and secure. And security is what's important right now. It's nice to have a little something to come home to. It's time to get back to basics."

Personally, I've garnered only positive feedback with my new coif.

So while some women shave themselves silly on Jan. 20, I plan to enter this new era with a tailored modern mini-bush and a reclaimed sense of womanhood. Maybe, if the bikini line theory plays out, we'll all go back to the Telly Savalas sooner or later. But the promise of a new America under an Obama administration gives me greater optimism. I envision a country where we can one day have it all -- a booming economy, national security, a healthy respect for sexuality and even a little bush. I say, Yes we can.

Interesting Way to Describe a B.o.B.

I've heard vibes called all sorts of names - battery operated boyfriends, personal massagers, bullets, eggs, dial a dick, etc.. but this guy on a tangent takes the cake. He describes them as:

"plastic-coated, triple action, super deluxe, 5-speed, water-resistant thunder-cock that rotates"

...it was the "Thunder-cock" that cracked me up.

In my head I pictured this silver, standard plastic vibe with a little head dress and warpaint on getting ready to "ride off into the cavern of his ancestors" or some shit.

I haven't laughed that hard at a mental image in like 2 years.

On a side note, if I ever get into the vibrator business -my top of the line model will be the "Thunder Cock". (with 5 speed and rotation).

That Gasp....

There is a certain moment when you and your new lover engage that seems to freeze time. In the midst of becoming quite worked up and tearing each others clothes off, exploring with a tender vigor, and learning how she tastes - this moment can halt that. It's quite fast and if you're not paying attention you miss it.

When she lays back and spreads her legs, inviting you in, and beckons you with word, glance, or simple gesture - the moment is at hand. As you slide inside her and she pulls you deeper there is a gasp that's unleashed into the universe.

It's funny in a way what that one little noise can trigger in a person. It's feeling of satisfaction, desire, confidence, lust, and primal urge all melted into one flux of emotion running down your body. It's inviting, it poses a challenge to not let her down, it sings a wordless song of love - even if the love lasts only in that moment.

One noise that if absent can cheapen the experience, can take all that away and turn it into simple physical pleasure - or perhaps boredom solved by sex. It's something more basic something somehow less enjoyable.

The gasp means she feels it, not just your cock sliding inside and filling her up, no, she feels it all. She's in tune with your body, she knows exactly how close you are to her at that moment, she knows she's safe in the most vulnerable of positions. There is a certain comfort and satisfaction in this harmony. Often it's overshadowed by the more pertinent of sensations, the physical pleasure of it all, the room smelling of sweat, pheromones, and the way your lips taste as you kiss her when you have stopped licking her clit... but overshadowed does not equate to less important.

These near silent clues that your world is right with one another are vital and it's worth your time to pay attention to. Pay attention to how her body reacts as you slide inside her and appreciate it all - take her in with your eyes and ears just as she's taking you in with her body. Feel the experience with more than just your dick and you will be rewarded.

The more in tune you can be with your lover the better the experience - the better the experience, the better the sex. The better the sex, the better the relationship. It's worth it, I promise.

Homemade Porn

*note* all images should be clicked to be appreciated in their full size.


A little bit of advice for all you would be quasi-famous porn stars out there. You know who you are, the couple/individual with a digital camera and no shame to flaunt your bits out on the net and make the nameless faceless folks leave you comments that they're repeating from some terrible porn movie.

"Oh baby, let me squeeze one off all over those tits".

...yeah, because that's sexy sounding.

Anyways, the point isn't to belittle or demean, there comes a time when everyone with a digital camera and a little bit of adventure wants to get their photo shoot on.

There are a few simple rules to keep in mind and since I'm in a giving mood, I'll share them with you.

Distance is key. Here is an example of "too fucking close"



That, gentle readers - is too close. It looks like steamed oysters. That's not sexy. That's a view only a gynaecologist could love.

Secondly, guys, printing out a photo of someone on these sites then rubbing one out all over it - stop it. We get it - you admire said anonymous naked person - I admire some of them too - but I'm not going to take a picture of the aftermath and post it like some sort of creepy love poem.



Third - lighting is important. I get it, you're excited your girlfriend said "lets take pictures" but it's no need to act like you've never held a camera before. You don't have to have screens, external flash, etc.. but you really need to take a few steps back and zoom if you're going for the close up - flooding their face (or other parts) with light really fucks up the entire picture.

See? That's not soft accentuating lighting. It looks like she's getting ready to be hit from a blast wave from a 2,000 lb bomb. She has harsh shadows on her arms - and the lighting is fucked up enough that those poor little fishnets are nearly lost in your excitement.



Take note from this amateur photographer - he did it right. There is good lighting, there is proper distance - you know what you're looking at and can appreciate the female form right here.



Lastly, for those who are keen on the action shot - lets stop with the "insert cock, hold steady, take a photo straight down - woohoo, penetration achieved on digital media!". There are not many of those photos that are flattering - again , lighting, distance, etc..



But this - while quality wise could be better - the idea was executed perfectly. A tripod (or if you're kinky, someone else in the room) on a timer or with a remote. The scene is set better, it's dripping with sex - not dripping with over developed genitals only.



So the principals of erotic photography aren't that difficult. The hard part for most of you that I've talked to really come down to just being too excited about it. If the idea is to take the photos and have them for personal use only - go nuts - take 100 and who cares if 98 of them are bad.. but if you're going to take the time to post them for the world to see - I'd say a bit of "doing it right" is in order.